Note To Self:

Note to self:  You are not responsible for the emotions of others.  Their sadness, stress, anger, grief and bitterness are not your burdens to shoulder.  Those emotions do not belong to you.  Separate yourself from them.  Don’t let that negativity ruin your entire day…don’t let it dull your sparkle, take up space in your already crowded mind or hold you back from fully feeling the joy in your own life.

Note to self: Don’t use your superpowers for evil.  Just because you can read people like a book, doesn’t mean you should take advantage of that.  Manipulating people may get you want you want, but it is not worth the guilt that comes with it.  You will feel better about life if you do the right thing.  (If you don’t, you will get caught in that perfectionist downward spiral of self loathing.  Just don’t go there.)

Note to self:  Don’t forget that you have needs too.  Don’t give so much of yourself that there’s nothing left.  You have a strong need to make everyone happy, so strong that it can take over your life before you know what’s happening.  It will leave you with nothing, it will leave you depressed, and empty and drained…you may even feel used in a way.  You will become an empty shell of a person, and you won’t know how to fix it.  There is a balance between being selfless and selfish.  Try to find that balance and remember that you are person too, that you DO matter. 

Note to self:  Give people a break; don’t get so frustrated with them when they fail to catch on to your feelings.  Not all personalities can read emotions wordlessly like you can.  Sometimes you have to spell things out for them, or they will never know what is on your mind and how you feel.  Don’t be afraid to be up-front about your emotions when it is important.  Instead of resenting the other person for not figuring it out, just tell them.  And try not to stress too much about how the words will sound…you may ramble and have to explain what you mean in metaphors, but they will get the point eventually….hopefully.

Note to self: Don’t beat yourself up so much.  Tone down the self-loathing, and take the perfectionism down a notch or 2.  You are human.  You forgive everyone else, but you won’t forgive yourself.  STOP IT.  Yes, there is always room for improvement, but when you accomplish something, just enjoy it, for goodness sake!  Don’t let those feelings of worthlessness, failure and disappointment pollute your life.

“I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands.”
Avicii – Wake Me Up

“I’m afraid I can’t explain myself, sir. Because I am not myself, you see?”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

“She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it),”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

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2 thoughts on “Note To Self:

  1. Amen to all of these notes! Let me tell you it’s a daily struggle as an INFJ, especially reminding myself that others are responsible for their own emotions. I am so super aware of how the tone of my voice, facial expressions, words and body language will affect someone, that it’s physically painful having to disappoint them or worse, endure conflict 😦 But I keep on trying. Hopefully, with lots of patience and self-compassion, I’ll be able to not put others needs before my own. Thanks for the post!

    • Thanks for the feedback! 🙂 It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this…though I wouldn’t wish this emotional sponge syndrome on anyone! It’s exhausting feeling everything all the time. I’m not a fan of conflict either, it makes me sick to my stomach when people aren’t happy and I can’t fix it. Keep on keeping on, fellow INFJ! 🙂

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