You Know You’re An INFJ When…

-You suffer from “emotional sponge syndrome.”  You literally soak up the emotions of everyone around you, like it or not.

-You can easily help others figure out their problems, but figuring out your own is another ballgame.

-You are really proud of yourself when you get through small talk without being awkward.

-You HATE talking on the phone.  You procrastinate if you have to call someone, and practice what you will say beforehand.

-You pretend things don’t bother you when they really do.  You put on your poker face, because being called “over sensitive” and “dramatic” just adds insult to injury.

-You sound like a bumbling idiot when you try to verbalize your own emotions.  It always makes things worse, so you realize that you’re better off keeping your mouth shut.

-You know what it is to feel completely misunderstood and totally alone in a room full of people.

-You get frustrated at how shallow, selfish and insensitive everyone around you can be.  You wouldn’t dream of treating them the way they treat you.  

-Your own feelings can be pretty intense.  You tend to downplay just how intense they really are, for fear of scaring people.  You find yourself only sharing the parts of yourself that they can handle and nothing more.

-You see so much potential in the people close to you.  And it kills you to see them refusing to live up to it.

-While others merely look, you SEE.  When they can only listen, you truly HEAR.  You feel things that they are completely oblivious to.  It is like you are dancing to beautiful music, but they cannot hear the music.  They think you are the crazy one, but you know better.  It’s like you see the world in 3D and they see it in 2D.  There is so much more there and they are completely blind to it. And it is really frustrating, because they just don’t get it and never will.

-Criticism is a hard pill for you to swallow.  Logically, you know people are genuinely trying to help, but it is impossible to convince your feelings of this.

-You’re lying when you utter the phrase, “I don’t care.”  You always care.  And you kind of hate it.  Maybe if you say you don’t care, and act like you don’t, you can trick yourself into believing it.  But it just never works.

-Conflict makes you want to vomit.  You literally feel physically ill in the pit of your stomach until it’s resolved.

-You trust no one.  If you do, it is a really big deal and it’s limited to a very select few.

-It is blatantly obvious to you when someone lies.  If someone gives you a compliment, you can tell if they really mean it.  You see through fake like it’s glass.

-You notice everything.  You know quite a bit more than you let on.  People would be really surprised at what actually goes on in your head.  

-Some personalities think you are dumb.  You live in your head, not your body.  Your body kind of runs on autopilot, so you tend to be clumsy.  You know a lot, but don’t know how to verbalize it.  You don’t think in logic and facts.  Some people take this as unintelligence, but it could not be further from the truth.

-You have a strong need to make people happy.  If they aren’t happy, you aren’t happy.  You’ve been called a people pleaser on more than one occasion.  Most of the time, you wish so badly you could change this about yourself.  However, those close to you feel loved and taken care of on a whole different level than they experience with other people.

INFJs, feel free to add to the list!  I would love to hear from you!

7 thoughts on “You Know You’re An INFJ When…

  1. It’s like looking in the mirror. I can definitely relate to the clumsiness and not being able to verbalize my ideas. Criticism is also a chink in my armor.

    • I have been called “clumsy” for as long as I can remember. I just laugh about it…most of the time. 🙂 It’s like there is a disconnect between my body/physical world and my soul. Tasks that come easily to most just don’t feel natural to me.

  2. Yup this is me to a tee and once again makes me feel more normal to know there are others like me. I had to laugh at the clumsy part! Can’t tell you how often I trip, stub my toe or bump into something. Thankfully, I seem to acquire more grace in ballet class. Perhaps you’d find this interesting but I’m sure it’s because I’m FEELING the music. More than that, I AM the music and this seems to momentarily link my brain to my body.

    Jeepers, when I hear a beautiful piece of music, it’s like it lights up every neuron and cell. I get shivers down my spine and on my scalp. I know some other INFJs also react this way….

    • I did ballet for 10 years, so I know exactly what you mean! Becoming part of the music, getting goosebumps from a good song, etc. Ballet was a great way to “momentarily link my brain to my body” (love how you worded that, by the way!) It’s rare that we are able to do that, so it feels amazing when we do. I remember dancing to beautiful music, especially on pointe, and I kind of felt like I was flying…as if I were transcending the brain/body disconnect. It was very freeing feeling! My love of music only grew after years of ballet, maybe because it allowed me to connect with the music on a whole new level.

      • It’s always nice to stumble across a fellow ballet-lover! 🙂 I ended up moving away and getting married after high school, and never could find a studio that had adult classes. 😦 Now that I’ve had a baby and messed up my neck and back, I don’t know if I could physically do it anymore. I do miss it. I still do basic ballet exercises to stretch & tone, but that’s it. I always get sucked into dance shows on TV and dream about it a lot. 🙂

  3. Makes complete sense why you’ve been forced away from your passion. Great that you’re still stretching. As you say, I think it’s something which stays with you. If not physically, then emotionally or spiritually! I only did a few classes as a kid so I’ve actually only been a “ballerina” the last two years in adult ballet classes. Love it though 🙂

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