Finding My Voice

You are blind to yourself,
You see what you want to see.
All my life you’ve dug your claws in,
Refusing to set me free.

You’ve tried so hard to mold me
Into your perfect, little clone.
But there’s one thing you’ve forgotten:
I’ve got a mind of my own.

You put your voice in my thoughts,
And made your beliefs mine, too.
Have you ever thought for a second,
That I want to be ME, not you?

Now the question remains:
Who the hell am I?
What do I believe?
What do I want, and why?

The road to making you happy
Has taken me nowhere.
I am merely an empty shell,
Damaged beyond repair.

So here’s what’s going to happen;
This is how it will be:
I’ve got to have some space,
So I can finally just be me.

I need to find my voice,
To separate it from yours.
I am clawing my way out
Of these sheltering, closed doors.

This town is like a bubble,
Or even a black hole.
It makes me claustrophobic
And it stifles my soul.

My life can only be lived
By me, and me alone.
My decisions are mine to make,
My mistakes are mine to own.

I’m taking this hold you’ve had on me,
And I am finally letting it go.
Your happiness shouldn’t depend on me;
It is all up to you, you know.

I’ve got my own family,
And they deserve my best.
I just can’t give them that
With your weight upon my chest.

You’re going to push me and protest,
You’ll get angry and ice me out.
You might talk behind my back,
And for awhile, you will even pout.

But if there is one thing you’ve taught me,
It’s that life goes on.
Not one of us is perfect,
And someday we’ll all be gone.

So let’s agree to disagree;
Tomorrow is a brand new day.
Time may not heal all wounds,
But it can take the sting away.

There are so many things I’ll do differently,
Now that I am a mother, too.
But there is much that I can teach him,
Because I learned so much from you.

 

 

 

 

 

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Gravity

Surrounded by a billion stars, yet here I am alone;
Floating in space, lost in the dark.

I’m just a speck, in this vast, black universe.
So I search for somewhere safe, somewhere that feels like home.

I see you in the distance, light years away.
You shine so bright, brilliant and beautiful.

If I were to touch you, would I burn just as bright?
If I could get close to you, would you warm my aching heart?

Maybe you are home, and you could keep me safe.
Maybe I can be beautiful and strong, just like you.

Your pull gets stronger and I am powerless to stop it.
Your gravity overtakes me, there is no fighting it.

Your light, it looked so healing..
Now it only blinds me.

Your warmth that seemed so inviting,
Is now the thing that burns me.

You send your angry solar flares, to keep me at a distance;
Yet your gravity is unrelenting, like you want me in your orbit.

I spin endlessly around you, going nowhere in a hurry.
I see your every angle, but I can never see your core.

Is there something more beneath your churning fire?
If you let me in, would I burn to ashes before I got there?