My Shadow

It lurks and it waits,  in the depths of my soul.
My shadow, my darkness, that I’ve failed to control.
It wraps cold arms around me, so tightly I can’t breathe.
It’s waves crash violently, where I’m left to drown underneath.
I struggle and I fight until I finally break free;
I run fast and far, toward who I wish I could be.
No matter where I run, no matter where I hide,
The darkness always finds me there, and seeps right back inside.
It reminds me in whispers of my failures and my flaws,
It devours my joy and peace with it’s hungry, angry jaws.
“This wouldn’t happen,” it says, “If you weren’t so pathetic and weak.”
“If only you were smart and strong, instead of such a freak.”
My shadow comes like a raging storm in the night,
When I least expect it, when I’m too weak to fight.
It’s the volcano of rage that erupts when I fail.
It’s the speeding train of anxiety going off the rails.
It’s the wall of stone that I can never break through.
It’s the list of mistakes that I cannot undo.
It lurks and it waits, in the depths of my soul.
My shadow, my darkness, that I’ve failed to control.

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